My New Administration ~ "Your Fired!"

A sorry day it is when I am forced to announce changes to my New Administration before I am even elected, but a man has to do what a man has to do. "The Donald", sad but true, has been fired! I told him that he would no longer have the opportunity to help Americans move toward a new path toward common sense and truth. He simply proved that he was not the type of person that could help you, the people, primarily because he only wanted to help himself. I really don't feel comfortable telling you the whole story, because it was very ugly and embarrassing, but suffice to say, that he turned a very strange shade of red when he was thrashing on the floor in the throws of his tantrum. Surly that sight will haunt me for the rest of my life, however, I must also tell you in the spirit of openness, that Bill Maher seemed to be really enjoying everything. Good for him. There is little enough in today's world that can give people unrestrained joy, and I was happy that I could bring a few moments to Bill.

Now it is time to give you some more detail of what my "New Administration" will be charged with. The things that MUST be done. Let's start with the military. Now, I have told all of you that I am not what is commonly termed an educated man, but I am not stupid either. As I remember my education, WWII is over, and Hitler and Germany were not only defeated, but he is dead. The same is true of the Japanese. They surrendered, and are no longer waging war against us, well, not a military war. And Korea is in the history books as officially a done deal. So, first I want the nearly 100,000 troops out of those three countries. The troops, officers, tanks, guns, everyone and everything, out, out, out! And while we are doing that, let's get out of Britain! I mean, that war has been over for a really, really long time.

Bring it all back to America. The officers can retire and all write books, go on speaking tours and probably make a lot more money then they do now. The troops can be employed in rebuilding our roads and bridges. But what to do with all of those tanks and personnel carriers. Not to fear, I plan to open up a nation wide chain of used car lots. Think of the possibilities. The tanks and personnel carriers are PERFECT as the next evolution of the American SUV! I plan to sell the first one to Arnold, you know, "The Governator"! He really gets off on that sort of thing. Just for you Buddy. And I don't plan on stopping there, OH NO! We have military in 180 countries. I am willing to bet that you can't even name 180 countries, and if you don't even know what they are, I see NO reason to have American troops there.

Now to Iraq and Afghanistan. Bin Laden is dead and at the bottom of the ocean, so, close up shop and come on home boys and girls. Not only our military, but those tens of thousands of people we employ to rebuild everything we have destroyed. Come on back and build here, on American soil. We need to spend the tax dollars of Americans here. I would much rather see new schools being built here than in some village in Iraq. We need schools here, and hospitals, community centers and playgrounds. If they want things for their people, let them hire you!

But there is a logistical problem with this effort. Think about it for a minute. How can we move all of those people and all of that equipment back to America? Well, that is why you need me folks. The military has only so much capacity to do this sort of thing, it is true. So, we will use Mayflower, Allied Van Lines and all of the other movers to take up the slack. We can use FEDEX and UPS too. They are really good at moving things all over the world. They are fast and efficient, something that government can't claim. And this will help stimulate the economy here at home.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. How about our nuclear weapons? Why do we need so much? Dismantle them and build power generating stations. We can take the stockpile of other missiles and convert them to the world's most high tech fireworks displays. Can you picture the fourth of July in your city with a show like this? WOW! Let's take all of those smaller weapons that are designed to KILL people, and put them to a more humane use. One possibility is to melt them down and make things we all need and use. Maybe playground equipment for our kids, or park benches for our seniors. There is no end to the things that the American people need. And here is another opportunity to make a little money rather than spend it. Open up the world's biggest recycling center. A nation wide chain.

Yes, we DO need a military, but not THIS military! The primary job of the American military is to PROTECT America, not protect the rest of the world, and NOT to inflict life and government changes in other countries. So, bring it home and build America. Quit trying to expand this country. In future posts, I will talk about taxes, health care and civil rights. Come again, and "Have A Great Day".

The Old Hippie