Love On-Line ~ Good or Bad?

On-line dating and marriage. An "Earth Shattering" and important social issue? I think not, however, on-line anything is becoming more important to people every day. It is more important to people like myself who happen to live in rural America. Smaller towns do not offer people things like big cities can. Simple things like video rentals, I use NETFLIX, because there is only one video rental store where I live, and their selection is not the best. There are only two grocery stores here, so I use on-line sources to buy various ingredients, like spices, dried mushrooms, dried fruits and specialty items that Wal-Mart will NEVER offer. I purchase flowers, candies and tools on-line. Now I am seriously considering buying an E-Book Reader so I can purchase books on-line ( I've narrowed it down to the Kindle and the Nook, what do you think?). Now, if I could only find a good on-line outlet for lunch or dinner, I'd be one very happy Old Hippie!

But, back to on-line dating and marriage. I've been married before, twice actually. The first ended in a really ugly divorce, the second ended with the death of my wife after a long and protracted bout with cancer. I waited eleven years before I decided that I wanted to have a woman in my life again. Eleven years! Once I decided that I wanted to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, I found myself stopped dead in my tracks. How does someone my age go about finding the right woman? I began going to a few parties, but I have never been much of a party person, I tried going to a few bars, but that was not for me. I am not religious, so meeting Mrs. Right at a church social seemed a far fetched idea. But, by coincidence, I purchased my computer at about this time in my life, so I thought, "What the Hell", and I began to look on-line. After all, the things that I was trying certainly were proving to be of absolutely no value.

When I began to look into this, I was AMAZED at the number of dating sites on-line! There are dating sites for every ethnic group, straight and gay sites, religion oriented sites, sites for seniors (Which I qualified for, but didn't feel I wanted to restrict myself to.), So, I joined two different sites, both rather generic. I soon dropped one because it was obviously being used by schemers, but the other site held some promise for me. But, I was getting responses from TOO MANY women that simply didn't float my boat. The site was Friend Finders, and I noticed that they had a lot of affiliate sites, so I switched my profile to their Asian Friend Finders site. To be totally honest, I was a bit disillusioned with the responses I had been getting, but as soon as I changed, my inbox was jammed with responses. I was amazed!

At this time, I was 58 years old, but I was getting responses from women in their 20's and 30's! This was really flattering for my ego, but I discounted the younger women. I do believe that age is only a number, however, I really wanted someone more of a woman and less of a girl. No offense, but I felt more comfortable with someone a little closer to my age. The responses were from the Philippines, Japan, Thailand, Vietnam and China. But, there was one from a woman living in China that seemed to stand out, it seemed to be special. And I wrote her back, thinking that I may get a response back in a few days, but to my surprise, I received a response the next day. Not a little one or two paragraph response, but a lengthy letter. She was open and forthright. She told me about herself and what her expectations were. I wrote back to her immediately. After a week of daily messages, I canceled my membership in the on-line service, and communicated directly with her using email. We continued to write to each other for nearly a year, EVERY DAY! I knew I was in love.

We decided that I would come to China to meet her, and we decided that if that visit was good, we would make plans to get married. I got my passport in order, got my Chinese Visa, and booked a flight to Zhengzhou, Henan, China, where she met me at the airport. Not just her, her sister, cousins, daughters, Mother and a crew of friends. Overwhelmed is hardly the word to describe how I felt, but I can't think of another word. From the airport, the entire entourage went to a restaurant, and it was a feast! Next to the hotel she had booked for me, a really upscale hotel where I had a suite, and it was filled wall to wall with relatives of hers and friends, all of whom wanted to meet me. I was being treated like a King! The plan had been that I would return to the US, and we would begin to plan our wedding if everything went good. Didn't work quite that way. We were married three days later. I stayed in China for 15 days, and we had a wonderful time, visiting so many places, eating everything from street vendor food to good restaurant dinners. This was the smartest and best thing I ever did.

It took me 27 months to get her to the US, which was and is an absurd amount of time, but that is for another post. As you can guess from this little story, I am a proponent of on-line dating and marriage. But, I have to be honest and tell you that though there are many success stories, there are also horror stories. But, is that any different than meeting someone here, then finding later that they had their own agenda? Finding a life partner is little different than finding a good video in this respect. For most of us, the availability for both is limited to the area where we live. The Internet is a border-less environment. You have the ability to meet people from anywhere, everywhere. But, you need to take the same precautions with on-line relationships as you do with the people you actually meet. Think of it this way, you are searching for someone to fill an empty place in your heart, but, you need to use your head to insure that who you fill the space with is a good fit. If the fit is not right, you will end up with a broken heart.

Yes, Internet dating and marriage can be a wonderful thing. But the success is 100% up to you. I want to thank Fengrong Liu for coming into my life, and bringing me two wonderful daughters, Song Jing and Liu Yu, a fantastic Mother, a special sister with a great family, and a group of cousins and friends anyone would live and cherish. Have A Great Day,

The Old Hippie