Tell Me It's Not So ~ I've Turned Into My Parents

Unthinkable for most of my life, but now it has happened. Yesterday I awoke to find that I had turned into my parents. It ruined my entire day. I was so depressed that I drove to town (15 miles each way) so I wouldn't have to cook dinner. When the dinner was served, I couldn't eat it. I asked for a "go" box and returned home. It's in the refrigerator now, so I'll try to eat it tonight. Thanks to fate, I had beer in the fridge, so I survived the night without eating. How does something like this happen? And to an Old Hippie no less! The overwhelming sadness and utter disillusionment of this realization has shocked me to my foundation.

My Mother and father were divorced when I was in the third grade, and she didn't re-marry until I reached Jr. High School. Soon after the divorce, my Grandfather died. Grandma came to live with us, and helped my Mother with me and my younger brother. He is five years younger than me. Growing up, I suppose that I was much like most kids of that era. Mom and Grandma didn't like the way I wanted to dress. They didn't like the music I liked. They didn't like the TV I wanted to watch. They didn't like the slang that I used, nothing dirty, but very improper language in their opinion. But it was no different for my friends. All of our parents were pretty much the same. But, in spite of it all, I grew up, and when I finally left home at eighteen, I swore that I would not be that way. And I wasn't, until now!

Maybe that is one of the reasons that attracted me to the Hippies. They had that "live and let live" philosophy. And when I had children of my own, I didn't do many of the things my Mother did. If my kids did something I didn't like, I talked to them and told them what I thought, but I always left the decision to them. And they turned out good. But, yesterday, I realized that all of that had collapsed. The sudden realization of that hit me like a torpedo striking an unsuspecting ship. I never saw it coming, then "BOOM"! The water rushes in, and the ship sinks beneath the waves, and a few minutes latter, it is as if it was never there. What happened?

Early yesterday, I was on the Netflix site, looking for some movies. I was getting frustrated, and then it hit me, I simply don't like some of today's most popular stars. I don't like Will Farrell, I don't like Ben Stiller, I don't like Jack Black and I don't like the "Teen Queens" of today. But don't like is OK, because everyone has likes and dislikes. What shocked me was that I was CRITICAL! For some reason, I didn't just let it go with that "live and let live" attitude I had always had. I was sitting there criticizing the movies! And I thought about it, and I was shocked at the discovery that I felt the same way about music. I hate rap and hip-hop. And the way kids dress. And the way they speak, with so much disrespect and false bravado. And I realized at that point that I had become just like my Mother. But when did this happen, and most important, how did it happen? To ME!

This thinking consumed my day, and all of the night. I didn't go to sleep until well after four this morning, thank you "Spirits of the Barley Nectar" for getting me through the night. Now, after so much thought, I have concluded that there are only two possibilities for this unthinkable tragedy to have happened to me. First, there is the possibility of an as of yet undiscovered gene in the DNA of human beings. One that lays dormant for many years, and is mysteriously activated at some point that changes us into our parents. This appeals to me on one level, that being that if this is the case, then there is a possibility that science can isolate this gene and develop a cure, thus saving future generations from having to endure this happening to them. But, there is another possibility, one far darker, one with no hope of a future cure.

Scary as it is to think about, the other possibility is "Paranormal"! Could the ghost of my Mother and Grandmother have visited me in the night? Could they have invaded my often muddled mind? Could they have reordered my judgement process? If not DNA, this is the only other possibility! Damn, sometimes I hate it when I am right! But what I fear more is that they may change something more. What could be next? Will I crave watching old episodes of "The Lawrence Welk Show"? Will I become a staunch Republican? Will I find religion and go on retreats? Oh, please tell me this can not truly be! I feel like "Scrooge" being visited by the ghosts of Christmas! My world has been thrown into turmoil, I've fallen and I can't get up!

So, today I am going to listen to all of the music I have from the 60s, the Folk Music, the Protest Music, the Rock and the Country Music. I am going to nothing but concentrate on thinking about the philosophies of the Hippies, thinking about live and let live. Maybe it will work. Wish me luck. Have A Great Day,

The Old Hippie